When Can I Go Out with My Friends Again?
Good question. This is something you need to discuss together. If you have family or close friends who can babysit (and are willing to), you may be able to go out with friends as soon as mom feels able to. I wouldn’t recommend going out by yourself while mom is still recovering from childbirth. This is when she needs your help the most.
And as I mentioned previously, if the parenting responsibilities are unequal – resentment is the result. So talk about this. Do you have reliable childcare? How often do you want to go out with friends? I would caution you, however, not to take advantage of family members for babysitting. While many may be more than happy to watch your baby, nobody should feel taken advantage of and nobody owes you this.
Again, when people feel like they’re being taken advantage of, it only breeds resentment which damages relationships. Open communication is key here. Some grandparents may be perfectly happy to babysit every Friday night and might be offended if you hired a babysitter. Other grandparents may feel like you’re taking advantage of them if you ask them to babysit once a month. You have to know which kind you’re dealing with and plan accordingly. I do hope, however, that you’re not expecting (or even wanting) your social life to be what it was before you had a child. It won’t be, and it shouldn’t be. Children will change your social life, but they don’t have to ruin it. It will look different, and you’ll both have to decide what that looks like. You may find that your circle of friends will change as you move into this new stage of life.
The important thing here is to decide together what your social calendar should look like and to honor each other’s wishes.
Now that baby is born, or maybe you’re still trying to figure out what life’s gonna be like once she/he is born, think about ways to become the best father you can. Attend parenting classes, meet up with other dads, new dads and experienced dads; find mentors like pastors or relatives that you can trust to help you weather the scare of a pregnancy. Whatever emotions you might be feeling, know it’s normal and if you have more questions you’re in the right place! Talk to a male advocate today by calling us at (661)326-1907.
If you are currently experiencing thoughts of self harm or suicide, call the national suicide hotline at 800-273-8255.
If you would like to speak with a male advocate you can do so by calling (661) 326-1907.