"Memorial: anything meant to help people remember some person or event." -Webster’s Dictionary
One of the things that couples have said that helps them move on from their grief is the creation of a memorial to the memory of their baby. This can be as simple as choosing a name for the baby you miscarried, or it can be as involved as setting up a non-profit charitable foundation in memory of your infant who died. Each couple has to decide what they want to do to remember their child. Below are some suggestions based on what others have done. Use them as a springboard to come up with your own unique memorial. The object is to honor the memory of your baby and have a tangible reminder of how precious your child was to you.
Pick a name for your baby (if you haven’t already – www.babynames.com) and write the name and the meaning of the name on a piece of paper and frame it. Place it wherever you feel comfortable putting it: display it on a wall, or put it in a drawer where you can take it out privately and see it from time to time. If you have a sonogram picture or actual picture of your baby, and you would like to, put it in the frame along with the baby’s name.
Write a song or pick a song that makes you think of your baby
Plant a tree or shrub in your yard in memory of your baby.
Paint a picture as a memorial.
Have your baby’s name carved in a memorial bench at Greenlawn Cemetery.
Give a gift to your church or favorite charity in your child’s memory.
Write your baby’s name on a helium balloon and go to your backyard, favorite park or quiet place and say a prayer and release the balloon.
Put together a memory box with all the mementos of your baby: sonogram pictures, pregnancy test stick, pictures of you pregnant, hospital wrist band, a piece of clothing you had ready for the baby, a stuffed animal you planned to give the baby, anything that reminds you of your child. Keep this memory box in a safe, out-of-the-way place. In years to come, as the pain of the loss decreases, the memories will comfort you.
Invite your close family and friends to a dove release ceremony in memory of your child.
On the anniversary of your baby’s death, take some time as a couple to get away to a quiet place and talk, reminisce, cry, pray, or sit in silence as a remembrance.
Have a piece of jewelry made for the mother of the baby to wear that will remind you both of how precious your baby’s life was.
Find a picture, painting or poster that you feel symbolizes or represents how much your baby meant to you, and keep it in your home.
Make a quilt or needlework that has your baby’s name in it somewhere.
Memorials can be as simple or elaborate as you want them to be – it is completely up to you as a couple. Be creative and think outside the box. Remember that the purpose of a memorial is to honor the memory of your baby. If you choose to do a memorial, we can set up a time and place to meet as a group, or you can choose to celebrate it alone as a couple. Let us know if we can help in any way.